Wednesday, May 30, 2007

It's all about the cred...

There are carbon offset credits and now, a Leakey biodiversity credit is suggested to preserve indigenous forests--as well as disingenuous politicians.

(Thanks to Senor Collins and Insty)

Why not extend the modern update of the Papal Indulgence to other present day sticky wickets?

For the un-PC we have Ethnocentric Diversity Offsets--so you can once again call the kettle black and be niggardly.

For the impolitik we have Political Spectrum Depolarizing Credits--Left, Right, Left, Right, polemicize away!

For the equatorially-challenged we have Density Diffusion Credits--why, yes, I'll have another double cheeseburger pumpstopper.

Hampered by heterosexuality? Curse no more! Regina Fabulosity Credits will compensate for any queer tendencies.

Automobile got you down? Public Transportation Offsets will ease your guilty conscience while Moving Violation Credits ensure that everyone gets to exercise his or her right to drive regardless of pesky tickets and DUIs.

Overcome by your (sub)urban jungle? Landscape Beautification Credits may be combined with Bureaucratic Citizen Offsets to allow those folks who are currently handling it for you to go right on handling it. Easy, no?

...and finally (hold the applause you) Frank-n-Steyn Breeding Offsets--so you may wither away hither and thither.

Ah, hell...y'all get the point.